Tag: queer

  • Is the Best LGBTQ+ Book About a Mountain Lion?

    Is the Best LGBTQ+ Book About a Mountain Lion?

    We seem to be in something of a Renaissance with queer media (Heated Rivalry, The Emperor of Gladness, and Pluribus to name a few), which is more essential now than ever if you ask me, but I wanted to take a moment to spotlight a queer story that’s a little less known and a little stranger, told from a mountain lion’s point of view. 

    Immediately after I finished reading Henry Hoke’s 2023 novel Open Throat, I thought to myself, “This may be the best queer story I’ve ever read.”

    Open Throat follows a queer mountain lion on the prowl in Los Angeles. This lion spends its days observing humans and their strange ways of life. After a fire forces this lion to come down closer to the city from the hills, new temptations and threats emerge, and the feline begins to question whether they want to eat a person or become one. 

    When I first read this, I was immediately hooked, though a bit skeptical. Maybe this was just a case of “all flash, no substance” storytelling. However, in reading Open Throat, I found myself deeply resonating with this lonely feline. 

    In discussing the origins of Open Throat, author Henry Hoke said, “I was catching up with the real mountain lion, P-22, who was an L.A. celebrity. There was a Nick Cave song where he talks about a cougar in the Hollywood Hills, and that just sparked something in me… I felt kind of displaced and strange in Los Angeles the whole time… Instead of actually looking in on the cat I decided to just take a couple months and inhabit the fictional headspace of the cat and do a monologue of my experience of L.A., but as a mountain lion.” 

    As for the queer perspective and trans experience exhibited within the story, Hoke said in a separate interview, “It was very close to myself, an expression of deeper aspects of my own character, so I didn’t have any trouble there; I just had to meditate and tap into those inner fires.” 

    But what is it about Open Throat? How does this LA-dwelling solitary mountain lion tale stand head and shoulders above other similar stories about queer identity and the trans experience? There are a few key aspects that stood out to me. 

    For starters, there is the setting. Often, members of the LGBTQ+ community feel compelled to live in larger cities, if not purely from an economic or cultural perspective, but out of a need for safety. Rural or less densely populated areas of the United States historically tend to skew more conservative and have harsher legislation, which in some cases even targets members of the LGBTQ+ community. The unnamed mountain lion in Open Throat is driven to LA and specifically into more densely populated areas. Through this change in setting, the lion details isolation and loneliness in a new place, all while simply seeking companionship. This is an experience we may individually feel when moving to a new place, and even more so if we feel forced to move. 

    Next, there is the sheer strangeness of the story. This may be a purely “me” belief, but what is often glossed over in more mainstream queer books is the removal of the uniqueness of being part of the LGBTQ+ community. As a queer man, there are quirks I’ve discovered over the years about myself and other friends and family members within the community that aren’t often outwardly addressed. From emotional reactions to different events in life, to gravitating towards different people, to general interests, and vernacular and slang, let’s be honest with ourselves, one of the best (but most terrifying parts) about being in this community is the “not normal” quality. Or at least, “not normal” in a modern, western heteronormative socioeconomic culture. It’s “not normal” to read a story through the perspective of a mountain lion who wants to eat a human being and feel close to crying at the end of it (this is no Free Willy or Old Yeller), but critically too, it’s perhaps “not normal” to read a story from this point of view that also doesn’t shy away from the quirks of living and experiencing life in such a body as this. 

    I feel it’s sufficient to say, as LGBTQ+ people, we each have uniquely queer experiences and, if we relayed those experiences even to the most understanding straight ally, they could question or recoil. A joke about this that I’ve heard is that while women avoid men in dark alleys, parks at night, and parking garages, these are the places gay men actively congregate to seek out men. An example of this “strangeness” in Open Throat reads, 

    “piss splashes my face and wakes me up/ the sharp smell bristles my fur and my eyes pop open/ I watch the man’s dangling part and the wet pouring from it onto the pebbles in front of me/ the salt covers my lips and I lick it away/ I’m hungry again/ I turn away from the spray and my eyes must catch the sunlight because the pissing man makes a deep noise and clutches his chest and turns before pulling up his pants and he skids on the gravel and falls on his face/ he recovers and runs out of the cave and doesn’t look back/ if he looked back he’d see me not chasing/ not moving/ he’d see me not giving a fuck/ I’ve been pissed on before/ I stand and leave my cranny and sniff his puddle and straddle it and piss and the puddle gets larger/ I can smell his fear/ I walk over to where he fell and paw the frantic marks he made in the gravel and I think/ what it would be like to hunt him.” 

    There’s a great deal to unpack here (potential kinks and fetishes, past experiences with such bodily functions from oneself and others), but the one I want to focus on is right at the end. After this degrading act is done to our narrator lion, their thought goes to thinking about hunting them. Through this story, we understand that this has a double meaning. For a mountain lion, there is the literal hunting aspect of stalking and killing this man, but in a more metaphorical sense, there’s also a desire for the pursuit of such a target. Why do we so often find ourselves pursuing those who have scorned us?

    Finally, there is the trans experience. At the start of Open Throat, our narrator says, “I’ve never eaten a person but today I might.” From a predator pursuing humans to, by the end, wishing to be a human themselves and feeling uncomfortable in their furry, feline skin, our protagonist goes through an identity crisis. They begin to relate and even sympathize more with the humans that often live in fear or have animosity towards them as wild animals than they previously did. They believe that in the end, they are a human, just a human trapped in a lion’s body.

    There’s a genuine desire for connection and community found through the lens of our protagonist, wishing to be recognized as living their authentic self. Perhaps the most essential quality about queer existence is a desire to live as one’s true being—quirks and all. No queer person, no human being, or mountain lion, is perfect, nor is the queer experience a tale of striving for perfection. If anything, the truest queer experience is about coming to terms with our faults, with the experiences we’ve had along the way, and reconciling them with the individual we wish to be and finding those around us who will accept us as us. Perhaps no one, or no thing, has embodied that drive for acceptance more than a mountain lion in the City of Stars.

  • Is Rope the Queerest Thriller of All Time?

    Is Rope the Queerest Thriller of All Time?

    You may know director Alfred Hitchcock thanks to films like Psycho and The Birds, each of which pushed the boundaries of cinema through their depiction of horror and violence. But before either of these films, Hitchcock pushed boundaries with an equally revolutionary film—Rope.

    Released in 1948, Rope very well may be the queerest thriller of all time, thanks in no small part to everything on and off screen. 

    The film follows a pair of “friends” who decide to commit the perfect murder. They kill their former classmate with a piece of rope and subsequently hide his body in a wooden chest, which is then prominently displayed in their apartment as the two host a dinner party. The tension lies not in whether the murder occurred or who did it, but whether the murderous protagonists can get away with it. 

    From the onset, Rope is steeped in queer…well, we can’t even call it subtext now, can we? The two friends and former classmates, Brandon and Phillip, share a one-bedroom apartment together in New York City. They decide to kill their prep school classmate, David, with a piece of simple, taut rope. This is done in the opening scene, and the camera lingers on the faces of all three characters, notably David, whose pain in his own death could be misconstrued as almost arousal. All three men are packed closely together, hands across one another’s bodies, to commit this deed. 

    Throughout the subsequent dinner party, Brandon and Phillip are staged physically close—often shoulders against one another—and discreetly reminisce about the sensations the murder filled them with, along with their superior intellect for committing such a crime.

    Brandon says, “We’ve killed for the sake of danger and for the sake of killing. We’re alive, truly and wonderfully alive.” 

    Later, he remarks, “I don’t remember feeling very much of anything… until his body went limp and I knew it was over. I felt tremendously exhilarated.” 

    There are innuendos throughout about not just the pair’s homosexuality, but that of both their murder victim and their prep school housemaster, Rupert, who appears halfway through the film. Brandon notably says, “I’m not interested in Janet’s prattle, but you always interest me, Rupert.” 

    The innuendos of homosexuality likely flew over Republican James Stewart’s head as the elder intellectual, but they certainly didn’t for others in the cast and crew. 

    Rope, based on a 1929 stage play of the same name by Patrick Hamilton, was loosely inspired by the real-life murder of 14-year-old Bobby Franks in 1924 by University of Chicago students Nathan Leopold and Richard Loeb. Leopold and Loeb, having been in a relationship, were determined to murder as a means to tout their “superior intellect” and commit the “crime of the century.”  

    Hamilton himself was a closeted gay man and the screenwriter for the film, Arthur Laurents, was also gay–and one of the few openly gay Hollywood screenwriters in the 1940s. He and Hitchcock had a productive working relationship. Laurents said in an interview with Vito Russo for his book, The Celluloid Closet, “We never discussed, Hitch and I, whether the characters in Rope were homosexuals, but I thought it was apparent.” 

    Laurents had been drawn to write the screenplay for Rope because his then-lover, openly bisexual actor Farley Granger, was set to star as one half of the murderous duo, Phillip. The other half of this duo, Brandon, was also played by closeted gay actor, John Dall. On top of this, Brandon and Phillip’s murder victim, David, was played by Dick Hogan, yet another gay actor who had previously been with Farley Granger. 

    In writing the script for Rope, Laurents had a delicate balancing act given that the Hays Code was at its peak in enforcement. The Hays Code was a set of censorship guidelines for the film industry, which barred any “unacceptable” content in films, such as homosexuality. Laurents said, “I don’t think the censors at that time realized this was about gay people. They didn’t have a clue what was and what wasn’t, that’s how it got by.” 

    Hitchcock, though not initially intent on crafting such a queer film, had begun working on Rope to push back from the studio system which he had been trapped in for years (also using Rope to employ groundbreaking filming techniques to create the illusion that the film was done in one continuous long take). He, in many ways, sympathized with queer artisans and characters. 

    Hitchcock was more than willing to cast queer actors, wishing to promote and elevate struggling performers who, like himself, wished to push back on the studio system. Stewart, as the most bankable star, was cast to quell censorship concerns and to secure financing. But all the other primary persons associated with creating and starring in the film were keenly aware and eager to showcase queer characters less in a villainous light, but in a complex one.

    Laurents and Granger even had a double date with Hitchcock and his wife, Alma. Laurents said of Hitchcock, “He didn’t give a hoot in hell whether I was gay. It tickled him that we had a secret he knew. It was a slightly kinky touch, and kink was a quality devoutly to be desired.”     

    There were missed opportunities with Stewart’s casting, however. Laurents lamented that Stewart’s character was supposed to be the unwitting, queer inspiration for the murderers. In Laurents’s words his character was, “the head homosexual…Jimmy Stewart? Jimmy Stewart has no sex.” 

    Still, the film carries on with its queer imagery and textual assessment of vice–from smoking cigarettes after murder to stroking champagne bottle necks, all of which can be tied back to the queerness of the story.   

    Phillip and Brandon are, despite being murderers, the film’s protagonists. As an audience member, one is keenly aware of the malicious deed committed at the onset, but can’t help looking away and being charmed by the murderers. While not necessarily a positive representation of homosexuality, what Rope did was employ queer artisans in a time when punishment for sodomy in California included forced sterilization; Hitchcock crafted a thriller steeped in homosexual undertones, queer history, and evoking tawdry, sensuality between multiple characters. 

    Most essentially, the film addresses fascist ideology head-on. The murderers commit their crime after having learned of “superior intellect” from their mentor, but by the end, their headmaster rejects this thought experiment that individuals of “superior intellect” can or should dictate the lives (and deaths) of others. Hitchcock had crafted anti-fascist British propaganda during World War II and Stewart had served in the Army during the War. In the end, it’s not the homosexuality of the characters that’s repudiated, it’s their fascist thoughts, which can be held even by members of the larger queer community (I’m looking at you, “LGB without the T”). 

    Even prior to Rope’s release, the film received backlash and was either banned or severely restricted across such major cities as Seattle and Atlanta. The film was also met with mixed reviews and wound up being a financial disappointment, though not an outright financial failure thanks in no small part to its small, $2 million budget. Since the 1940s, Rope has been reassessed and, while not as appreciated as some of Hitchcock’s other films, has endured because of its bold stylistic cinematography and use of long takes, as well as its queer storytelling and complex depiction of queer characters.   

    Rope is the queerest of all thrillers perhaps not because it’s the most shocking or graphic of queer stories put to screen, but because of all that was put into the film by its multifaced creators and actors, all that the film says about vice, kink, and ideology, as well as all that the film implies through inventive cinematography and editing.

  • For Halloween, I Dressed Up As Myself

    For Halloween, I Dressed Up As Myself

    Growing up, I wanted to dress up as desirable. I wanted to trade in my straight eyelashes for curled ones and change my brown eyes to blue. I wanted to grow four inches in height and lose two around my waist. I yearned for wavy hair that framed my face instead of the stick-straight hair I was given. My eyes were wide enough to see, but not wide enough to be seen. I would have traded them in an instant. When I walked into a room, I wanted people to turn their heads to look at me. I wanted to hear it, the rustling of hair against shirt collars. I wanted the air to shift around me so that the music sounded a little clearer and the drinks tasted a little sweeter. All of this yearning and shapeshifting to be liked by boys. Boys who looked straight through me to get a better glimpse of my friends. Boys who made racist remarks about me as a joke, and friends who let it happen. I knew that the costume I wanted could never be bought online. In a world full of tricks, that was the biggest one of them all. 

    When Halloween rolled around, I was reminded that even on a day where anything was possible, I would never be able to be the one thing I really wanted: an equal. While I didn’t love the holiday, I knew an opportunity when I saw one. Without its quality of childlike wonder, it was a chance to flip expectations on their head. It was the one day a year when the impossible was possible. A nice girl could be a witch and a shy girl could be noticed.

    When I fell in love, things began to change. At last, I had caught the feeling I spent my whole life pursuing. The fog of self-loathing cleared, and I looked around, assessing the damage. I was alive, and other than 22 years of mental turmoil, remained mostly intact. I discovered that what made me undesirable was my environment, not me. And I discovered that the feeling I had when I looked at a pretty girl, the one I had almost convinced myself wasn’t real, was, in fact, the thing I had been wanting all along. With this newfound knowledge, I could start over as someone new, someone who dressed up as the character from their favorite childhood movie, for no reason other than for themselves. How strange and wonderful it was to put me first!

    Now, Halloween has taken on a new meaning. I no longer have to choose between pleasing others and pleasing myself, because the only person I care about is already next to me, holding my hand. Embracing my queerness helped me to accept many things, some more obvious than others, but I never imagined that a holiday that used to symbolize conformity could return to one of storybook characters and laughter.

  • Thomas Knights X Red Hot Debuts in Hollywood

    Thomas Knights X Red Hot Debuts in Hollywood

    Photographer and artist Thomas Knights, creator of the Red Hot movement–a celebration of red-haired men through photography and film–has a passionate mission to embrace and showcase redheads in visual media while bringing visibility to the queer community.

    Hoping to change public perception of redheads and queer sexuality, Knights has taken his movement across the globe. Now, the exhibition is arriving in Hollywood with a brand-new debut at CULTUREEDIT, a queer retail store on Santa Monica Blvd.

    Upon entering the gallery, visitors are greeted by a hallway lined with photographs of nude Red Hot models, pictured in New York and California by Knights himself. Spanning from the entrance walls to the main showroom, these photographs capture a playfulness and warmth, portraying these red-haired men as confident and empowered. With many group scenes, Knights depicts a strong sense of community and sexual freedom.

    The exhibition runs through November, so be sure to stop by CULTUREEDIT to experience this celebration of queer sexuality and redhead pride! You’ll also find Red Hot merchandise, including jockstraps, mugs, sandals, photography books, and calendars.

    Visit the exhibition at 6757 Santa Monica Blvd, Los Angeles CA 90038.

  • Halloween Photography

    Halloween Photography

    Photography from Halloween 2024 in West Hollywood by Kidmin Bellin and Paul Kneitz

  • Halloween in Weho

    Halloween in Weho

    What I Learned at my First Halloween Carnaval

    Every year since 1987, a mile of Santa Monica Boulevard has been blocked off on October 31st for the West Hollywood Halloween Carnaval. Thousands of costumed attendees roam the street and bars, enjoying the various food trucks and live DJ set.

    My boyfriend and I attended the event for the first time last year. I wore a devil inspired drag look and he went as Ghostface from the Scream franchise.

    We arrived around 10 PM, unaware that the event runs from 6 PM to 11 PM. On most nights this wouldn’t be too late, but on Halloween, it was absolutely packed, and every bar had an infinite line. After waiting in one of them for half an hour and hardly moving an inch, we gave up. Instead of bar hopping, we decided to walk around, socialize, take pictures, and admire everyone’s costumes.

    While the event may officially end at 11 PM, the crowd certainly didn’t thin out for the next couple hours. We stayed until midnight, only to discover that getting home wasn’t as simple as calling an Uber or Lyft. With the street blocked off and difficult to access, using a rideshare meant walking several blocks away from Santa Monica Boulevard. We headed toward W Holloway Dr and N Horn Ave, waited on the curb, and tried again. Although cars were now available, the prices were sky-high. We wondered if walking even farther, perhaps into a quieter residential area, might help reduce the fare. So we trekked 1.5 miles to Wilshire Boulevard, only to find that the Uber prices were exactly the same!

    This year, I plan to arrive between 8 and 9 PM—a potential sweet spot with a lively but less overwhelming crowd. And while there’s no avoiding the steep rideshare prices, at least this time I won’t be hiking 1.5 miles in my heels to try and beat them.

  • I Forgive You

    I Forgive You

    by Liv Gardner

    I forgive you

    For the hurt

    For the tears

    I forgive you

    Whether you want forgiveness

    Or not

    The words you spoke

    Echoing for years

    Deep inside

    I release them

    They belong to you

    Like they did before

    They hold power over me no longer

    And I relieve you of that power too

    Maybe you’ll understand

    Maybe you won’t

    But at last

    We are free

    Unbound

    From each other

  • A Drag Queen’s Top 5 Favorite Makeup Products

    A Drag Queen’s Top 5 Favorite Makeup Products

    As a beauty concierge by day and drag queen by night, I consider myself a dedicated makeup connoisseur. While I’m always exploring new brands and tools, I have my staple products I come back to time and time again. Whether you’re interested in drag or more natural looking makeup, here are my top 5 picks of drugstore and luxury products perfect for both drag and everyday makeup looks!

    https://www.walmart.com/ip/Burts-Bees-100-Natural-Blush
    1. Burt’s Bees 100% Natural Blush with Vitamin E

    Available at Burtsbees.com – $9.99 (lasts 2-3 years)

    This might be a surprising first pick, as Burt’s Bees isn’t known for their makeup products, but I cannot express how much I love their blush. I discovered their makeup line at Target in 2020 and was immediately blown away by the “bare peach” shade. I use this at work, going out, and even in drag. It’s the only blush I’ve consistently received compliments on. While they’re no longer sold at Target, they’re still available at Burtsbees.com and Amazon!

    https://colourpop.com/products/avenue-of-the-stars
    1. Colourpop Body Glitter Gel 

    Available at Ulta or Colourpop – $10 (lasts 3-4 years)

    Glitter might not be an everyday essential, but it’s a fun way to add some shine to your look! ColourPop offers these glitter gels in an impressive range of colors and are extremely easy to apply. With just a couple dabs, I apply it along my cheekbones and next to my eyes, though they work beautifully as body glitter too. The stunning sparkle will make you instantly stand out on a night out!

    https://www.sephora.com/product/contour-kit
    1. Anastasia Beverly Hills Contour Kit

    Available at Sephora – $40 (lasts 2-3 years)

    This is probably the least surprising and most popular entry on this list but for good reason! With six versatile shades for contouring and highlighting, it’s my go-to choice for sculpting my face and nose, both in and out of drag. I often use it to add depth to my eye makeup too. It’s hands down my most-used and most reliable product, with an impressive shelf life of two to three years.

    https://www.amazon.com/stila-Waterproof-Lasting-Smudge-Proof-Transfer-Resistant
    1. Stila Stay All Day Waterproof Liquid Eyeliner

    Available at Sephora – $24 (lasts 6 months)

    For years, I experimented with different liners. Some pens would dry up after a couple months, others stayed wet too long and smudged after applying. This Stila liner is a fairly recent discovery of mine but I have used it everyday the past three months and it’s as precise and sharp as the first day I tried it. While there are more affordable liners out there, this product casts a clean, sharp look and dries quickly (without the pen itself drying up.) I can’t recommend it enough!

    https://www.amazon.com/Makeup-Revolution-London
    1. Revolution Soph X Highlighting Palette

    Available at Amazon – $15.47 (lasts 1-2 years)

    This is one of my all time favorite products. I have yet to discover a highlighter product with as many shades and as good quality. They have enough variations to suit multiple skin tones and makeup looks. When I want a more subtle, natural highlight, I use the light tan, but if I want a more intense look, the white shade casts a beautifully bright shine. Its shelf life is also decent, mine having lasted me 2+ years. The one downside is that they don’t sell these in stores anymore and only seem to be available on Amazon but it’s 100% worth it for the exceptional quality. I can’t recommend it enough.

    Every item on this list has earned its place for its versatility, value, longevity, and above all else, performance. Whether you have an existing beauty regimen or are just getting started on your makeup journey, these are great products to explore and add to your routine!

  • No Longer a Tourist in San Francisco

    No Longer a Tourist in San Francisco

    Since moving to Los Angeles, I’ve clocked in countless hours on the 5 making the drive to San Francisco. But despite the frequency of these visits, it wasn’t until recently that I actually started to enjoy the city. Growing up in San Rafael, San Francisco was a 30-minute drive away. Once or twice a year, my dad would drive the family to Ghirardelli Square or Fisherman’s Wharf. As I got older, the charm wore off, especially when I was the one driving. Los Angeles has its share of terrible traffic and nonexistent parking, but at least you don’t have to endure such steep hills and winding streets!

    After I moved to LA, I made my way back home twice a year to visit my dad, sister, and high school friends. A couple years later–during a two-week visit–I decided to go on a handful of dates. At the time, I had very low confidence in my gender fluidity and often kept it a secret. To my surprise, however, these people were so accepting, I immediately felt safe enough to share my pronouns and identity. While one or two of the dates didn’t lead to anything, the majority resulted in long term friendships! I started to discover a version of San Francisco that I hadn’t been exposed to before: a queer version. 

    The amount of my friends in the city grew and grew, as did the frequency of my trips. I would spend weeks in advance planning who I was going to see and whose couch I was going to stay on, and on June 21, 2023, I headed north once again to celebrate SF Pride. 

    While the Pride Parade wasn’t until Sunday, the celebration started that Friday night. I stayed in the East Bay with a friend who drove us out to SoMA, starting out at the Hole in the Wall Saloon, a bar many of the earlier mentioned dates were at. You would be hard-pressed to find an empty space on the walls and ceilings here. Every inch is covered by stickers, chains, wheels, lights, records… the list goes on. The bartender that night was friendly, excited that I was from LA. He was from Orange County and “left for a reason.” –I didn’t ask. The bar’s tight quarters couldn’t help but make it intimate. A lot of the bars in this strip feel like that and draw out the same crowds. I always run into someone I know.

    On Saturday, I went to a party at a high school friend’s apartment in the Richmond District, spending time with old and new friends alike before venturing into the Castro for the first time. It was freezing outside but thankfully a lot of heat generated from the bodies crowding tightly together in line for the clubs. My friend and I waited outside of 440 Castro, apparently well-known for selling beer for just three dollars. We weren’t dressed very colorfully, so I applied glitter to my face, then to his… and then to the couple standing in front of us.

    Once we finally entered, it was nearly impossible to walk. Packed to the brim, we somehow made our way to the back of the bar where they indeed sold beer for just three dollars! We said goodbye to our new acquaintances and bolted for the exit to breathe, finishing our drinks on the outside patio before walking around the other bars and shops.

    Sunday morning arrived at last and we woke up early to drive to the city. Much to our relief, we spotted parking right away and headed for the Embarcadero where the parade would start. There we met and joined a group of familiar faces from Thursday night. The day was extremely sunny and relentlessly hot, though only for short intervals. The wind would pick up consistently enough that I began regretting the short shorts I was wearing. 

    Huddling close together for warmth, we watched the parade go by: a city taken over by the queer community: drag queens, performers, and activists marching with the most colorful and unique signs, banners and flags. Flags for Gay pride, Lesbian Pride, Pansexual pride, Transgender pride, Two-Spirit pride, and POC pride. Allyship pride, Bear pride, Leather Pride, Furry pride…  Any sub-community you could imagine was here and proud. And the crowd clapped and cheered for all of them.

    We followed the parade to the Civic Center where we were rejected from entering because security said our backpacks were too big. So we headed for the bars again. The wind finally seemed to relent, the heat showering down at last. As I sipped on a rum and coke, laughing with friends in the bar’s courtyard, I had a serene moment of reflection and bliss, taking in the warmth of those around me and how special it felt to be surrounded by such love and openness. So much freedom of expression and diversity. I had been a tourist before. And despite no longer living there, I had never felt more at home with familiar faces in every corner. This was the San Francisco I loved.

  • Yes, Emilia Pérez is as Bad as they Say

    Yes, Emilia Pérez is as Bad as they Say

    Rating: 1.5 out of 5.

    Emilia Pérez is a Spanish-language musical crime film about a Mexican notorious and ruthless cartel boss who discreetly undergoes gender affirmation surgery and fakes her death, leaving behind a wife, two children, and a life of crime. After recovering, she starts fresh as Emilia Pérez, and tries to live a moral life by founding a charity to help victims of the cartel. Despite this promising premise, the film offers little more than a sloppy characterization of a trans woman and a surface level depiction of the issues that it attempts to tackle.

    Initially, the film received critical acclaim upon its release, from receiving a standing ovation at the 2024 Cannes Film Festival to the various awards and nominations it has received from the Golden Globes and Academy Awards.

    Slowly but surely, as the buzz about the film grew, and as it reached more audiences, the reaction began to shift online. Audiences criticized the film’s depiction of Mexico from improperly representing the Mexican judicial system to awkwardly written Spanish lyrics. Audiences also criticized the film’s depiction of transness, showcasing a protagonist with an evil, violent, inner-masculine side that comes out when she’s angry. There is an entire song that her children sing about how Emilia smells like their father, the filmmakers seemingly unaware that Emilia, having taken hormones for years, would smell completely different. All of these criticisms could have easily been avoided with the smallest amount of research, which the director, Jacques Audiard openly confessed to doing none of, stating, “No, I didn’t study much. I kinda already knew what I had to understand.” As a result, the missed details expose Emilia Pérez for its laziness and insincere handling of sensitive issues. But the criticism didn’t end there; everything from its performances to its direction to its musical numbers began to receive mockery.

    In mid-January, the increasingly negative public perception of the film came to my attention when I came across a short clip on Instagram featuring the film’s “Vaginoplasty” sequence where Emilia’s lawyer meets with a doctor to discuss gender affirming surgery. The song features these inspired lyrics:

    Hello, very nice to meet you

    I’d like to know about sex change operation

    I see, I see, I see

    Man to woman or woman to man?

    Man to woman

    From penis

    to vagina

    The song continues with a doctor listing different gender affirmation operations while transgender patients undergo and recover from surgery and gawk at the camera.

    I didn’t know what was more shocking about “Vaginoplasty”: the silly lyrics or the unpleasant melody. The instrumentation is ugly, the singing is unimpressive, and the lyrics are blunt and graceless. I could hardly believe this was a real scene in Emilia Pérez, so I decided to see it for myself.

    Two hours and 10 minutes later, my confusion was even stronger. During the first 30 minutes, I was admittedly invested. The movie starts off from the perspective of Emilia’s lawyer, Rita, and learning about Emilia from this perspective adds a lot of mystery. It is easy to be sympathetic when she opens up about her gender dysphoria, but the film doesn’t let the audience forget she is still a dangerous person. When Rita is taking too long to find a doctor to perform the operations, Emilia has henchmen break into her apartment, threatening to kill her if she doesn’t hurry up. They allow Emilia to be complex and human. After she transitions, though, the film acts as though she has instantly been redeemed of any criticism, for both her past and present.

    As Emilia attempts to lead a new and moral life, I waited for the consequences of her past to catch up with her. They don’t. Instead, Emilia invites it all back herself. After four years, she starts to miss her children, so she pretends to be a long-lost cousin and orders her former wife and kids to move in with her. Surely, upon seeing how her “death” affected her wife and children, and after continuing to lie about her identity, Emilia will reflect or feel guilt over the trauma she’s been putting them through, right? No, instead, Emilia is just happy to have them around, wanting them to be as dependent on her as possible.

    Later on, when Emilia starts a nonprofit to help identify the bodies of cartel victims, I waited once again for her to reflect on her past as a vicious cartel boss. But she’s not interested in reflecting, and neither is the movie. The nonprofit is revealed to be funded by corrupt and dangerous donors, and though initially this hypocrisy is called out, Emilia doesn’t care, and the film never brings it up again. Emilia never acts remorseful, nor is she held accountable for her actions. Yet the movie’s finale presents her as a saint-like figure.

    This image released by PATHÉ FILMS via IMDB

    The problems don’t end there. Karla Sofía Gascón and Zoe Saldaña give decent performances, but the same cannot be said of Selena Gomez, who plays Emilia’s wife. At her best, she’s fine; at her worst, she appears like she doesn’t understand the words coming out of her mouth.

    While “Vaginoplasty” is by far the silliest and craziest musical number of the film, most of the songs suffer from underwhelming and occasionally awful vocal performances.

    In spite of all this, Emilia Pérez has already won four awards at the Golden Globes, including for Best Motion Picture – Musical or Comedy, and it has received 11 nominations at the Academy Awards.  I imagine that its various award wins and nominations will not be looked back at fondly.

    So yes, Emilia Pérez is as bad as they say. The movie is plagued by a lack of authenticity and it pretty much fails on every level: as a musical, a drama, and as an entertaining viewing experience.